BDSM tips for beginners!

BDSM is an increasingly popular form of erotic play between partners, but newcomers may not understand the subculture and/or how to initially engage in a safe form of this exciting role playing activity.  BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.  It includes a spectrum of practices (as suggested by the name) including submission, domination, spanking, bondage, sadomasochism, fetishes enjoyed by the participants, power exchange and punishment, among others.  BDSM includes degrees of physical and emotional risks, depending on the practices employed by the participants.  That is why it is important to be knowledgeable of common safety tips practiced by those in the community. 

For starters, make sure you sit down with your partner and have a discussion about boundaries.  These negotiations allow the parties involved to negotiate how far they are willing to go, and also to establish “safe words” so they will each know when to cease role play.  In addition, secondary signals are important when using vocal restraints. Use of whips or floggers requires prior knowledge of both the body and how to properly use them so as to not cause any permanent damage.  Gags that involve both the nose and mouth should never be used.  Never leave a gagged partner unattended, and be sure the gag always fits properly and is not worn if the wearer is ill, as vomiting can cause suffocation.  Always make sure that any bound participant can be unbound quickly in case of any emergencies. 

            Always make sure you are well acquainted with the person you are engaging in the practice with, and always make sure personal feelings are kept out of the practice.  Do not use a session to “punish” the other participant.  Also, intoxicants are never a good idea, as inebriation can lead to poor decision making and impairs the senses.  Make sure to “check in” several times to make sure each of you is comfortable with what is taking place.  Starting off slowly and building up the intensity is key, as starting off too intensely can be uncomfortable and damaging, both physically and emotionally. 

Be careful when using clamps.  Spring-loaded wooden clothespins can work well as erotic clamps on the nipples, as well as the genitals or on other parts of the skin.  However, when using clamps, they cut off circulation, so they should only be used for a few minutes.  Self experimentation can give you a guideline for how long they should be used. 

Since bondage, gagging, and blindfolding create vulnerability and a potentially dangerous situation, it is suggested that these techniques are employed only after a handful of sessions where they are not used.  This helps build trust in the partner and grants you some time to understand what you enjoy, which in turn helps you develop more specific boundaries.

These are a few helpful hints to get you stated. Once you have begun a BDSM relationship with your partner and gained some experience, your inhibitions will be diminished.  Have a fun, safe time!