How to Pick Up Women In a Club

            Plenty of guys go to a club to see a show or a bar to hang out expecting to find a potential hook-up.  However, this technique, for some people, tends to yield very limited results.  Here are some pointers for those out there who are having trouble in this arena and wish to keep from going home alone every time they go out for a night on the town.

            First of all, keep in mind the establishment you will be patronizing.  If you are a regular at a bar that has a lot of other regular customers, your odds may not be the best.   There will most certainly be a finite number of girls who will show up on a regular basis and you will have exhausted your resources over a shorter period of time.  Also, if you are going to a concert, keep in mind the band you are seeing. Going to a hardcore show where a bunch of sweaty men are piling on each other in a mosh pit probably doesn’t pull the odds in your favor very well.  But going to a Tupperware party to meet women because there is a higher ratio of women isn’t necessarily a great idea either, as the target audience for such a party is a group of women who are probably not so much interested in going to a show to meet a companion.  If you are camping out at a place hoping to meet women you are interested in, but continuously yield no results, it’s time to think about trying some new places.

            Okay, so you are at a pretty hopping club and you see a couple prospective girls.  What do you do now?  First, assess the situation surrounding the girl you have your eye on.  Is she alone?  Her being alone may seem like an open invitation, but think-if you are scoping out a stunningly attractive woman, why would she be alone?  Does she appear as if she is waiting for someone  (i.e.  Continuously looking at the door or other tables)?  Does she appear to be scoping other men out?  Has she approached anyone?  Does she seem to know everyone else there, as if she was a regular?  Knowing the answers to these questions can help you develop a pretty good game plan later on when you approach her.  If she is not alone, keep an eye on her friends and their behavior and how she reacts to them.  Try to make sure she isn’t attached to any of the people she is with.  If she seems to be with any of the people in the group, your best bet is to abort the mission and pick a new target.  Could one of them be her boyfriend? Chances are she won’t want to be hassled while she’s with her boyfriend and she’ll probably just laugh at you with her friends when you leave about how creepy you are. 

            The beautiful woman across the room has caught your eye and she seems like a reasonable prospect. How do you proceed?  First, you need to find a reason to talk to her.  Can you think of anything that you may have in common?  Maybe she is wearing a shirt displaying a band you like.  If you are at a show you can bring something up about the show, or talk about the band playing, or maybe something that has happened during the show.  If you are struggling to think of something, don’t despair, you can still approach her but you will probably come off a little more obvious about it.  The idea from here on out is to not be threatening. Make sure when you approach her to try and be relaxed; make every attempt not to appear too transparent or scripted.  Definitely stay away from pick up lines.  They rarely work and your goal is to initiate conversation, which they really don’t help with.  A good conversation will open her up to you and let her get to know you.  What you talk about isn’t as important as how you say it- be confident but not arrogant, don’t keep making jokes if she does not think you’re funny.  Keep your body language open and towards her and be comfortable. Don’t buy her a drink outright-there are plenty of women who go out without money because they know they can get men to buy them drinks.  There is nothing wrong with that, but you don’t want to keep shelling out money for drinks when she’s just going to leave you at the bar when she’s had her fill.  Also, try not to drink too much.  While a few drinks might loosen you up and grant you some “liquid confidence”  to  talk to girls you wouldn’t normally approach, too much booze can make you incoherent,  too touchy feely,  say things that could kill your game, or just  make you the disturbing drunk man trying to picking up girls at the bar. 

            Once you have initiated conversation, you should keep it going as long as you can.  Try to talk about things she brings up and ask her questions.  This will A) show her you are listening to her, while B) letting her partake in the conversation so you don’t have to keep trying to keep things going by yourself.  Just try not to sound like you are interviewing her for a job.  Make sure you make eye contact.  In addition to making the conversation more intimate, it makes it easier to read about how she feels about you. 

            At this point, if you’ve made it this far it’s a good bet to assume things are going rather well.  So, how can you get things to progress to taking her home?  Well, if you are asking that, you need to stop right there.  Don’t jump the gun.  First, a good rule of thumb is to always make sure you get her phone number first.  If she won’t give you her number, then she is not going home with you.  How do you get her number, you ask?  This is actually a bit easier than it sounds.  If you have gotten along well with her thus far, there’s nothing wrong in assuming she might want to see you again. Still, it might help to come up with a clever dating idea-for instance, if she talks about how she likes art, suggest maybe going out to the museum. And, when she says yes, exchange numbers.  Maybe a band you both like is playing in the area and you can offer to give her a ride.  Just get her number to make plans.  See how this works?  In both these instances not only did you get her number but you’ve left it open to see her again. 

            Now that you have her number, you should be able to relax a bit more and be more confident.  Just remember-she gave you her number, so she’s interested in talking and more than likely seeing you again.  If you can’t close the deal tonight, you still can later on, so there’s no need to fret about it at this point.  But, you ask, how do I get this lovely vixen I’ve just met to come home with me?  Well, if you really must try at this point, remember our golden rule:  just don’t do anything threatening.   You’ve set it up that you can probably date her in the future so you don’t want to go messing that possibility up because of being impulsive tonight.  Don’t push the issue, it will scare her off.  If she says no, respect it.  But how do you bring it up?  This depends on how late in the night it is.  Ask if she has to work the next day.  If not, ask what she is doing afterwards.  Chances are she’s not going to have plans for later on that night, so this leaves an opening for you to suggest something to her.  Just be casual about it. Depending on how your conversation has gone with her you might not want to blatantly suggest sex, it may be too presumptive of you.  Ask her something like, “Hey, since you don’t have any plans later, do you want to grab some carry out and go to my place and watch a movie?”  Hopefully, by this point you will know what kinds of things interest her so you can replace “movie” with a specific movie you know she’ll like,  If this is successful, once you get her to your place, things should evolve.  As long as you are committed to closing the deal and you don’t make her feel threatened you should look forward to an evening of romance..

Here are some DON’TS to help you out:

-Don’t be forceful or overly aggressive.  Being too pushy will scare her away. 

-Don’t be threatening.  Instead, be casual. 

-Don’t try to put on a front.  Be yourself.  If she talks to you long enough, she will just read through it.

-Don’t force the issue.  If she shoots you down, just drop it and pursue someone else.  Trying to convince her to like you is pathetic and just cuts into time you could dedicate to another woman who may be more interested in you.