Role Playing

Sometimes relationships need that extra kick, something new to revitalize things between you and your partner.  Role playing is just what the doctor ordered!  It allows you to virtually be anyone or be anywhere you want, injecting plenty of new “partners” and sexual encounters into your sex life without actually changing the partner you have now.  And, since you get to be anyone you want, the inhibitions between you and your partner will slowly disappear.  Setting aside the expectations of your normal role with your partner lets you venture places in your relationship that you might otherwise shy away from. 

            So you and your partner want to give it a go, but you don’t know where to begin.  First, talk with your partner and do some basic preparations.  What fantasies do you both share?  Is there anything either of you are uncomfortable with?  Then start laying the groundwork for your mutual fantasy:  What is the scenario?  What characters will each of you play?  What costumes or props will you need, and do you already have them or will you need to obtain them?  Answering these questions will get you on your way to living out your fantasy.

Some helpful hints:

Pick a character that relates to you.  The point of role-playing is to change things up a bit and live a vicarious sexual encounter through an alternate personality, but you might want to stick to something that is more comfortable with you at first.  This will help you loosen up a bit and get used to the experience.  Once you begin to push your boundaries more, you may still want to stick with characters that relate to you in some way.

Remember the details!  When you first live out your fantasy, you will more than likely be less concerned with the details, but as the fantasy continues you will undoubtedly think of things to be added to enhance the experience.

Take some time to think about your motivation.  Not only will it help you become more immersed in the fantasy, it can keep it going and help you avoid moments where the fantasy might stall out and neither of you can think of what to do next.  Knowing your motivation also will help you to stay in character.

Make sure you improvise!  There are a few things you may want scripted in the fantasy, but be sure to keep it loose and improvise, that way the encounter will feel more real and fulfilling.  You don’t want to have to keep checking a script every few minutes, do you?  Plus, the spontaneity will help you get caught up in the moment and you will have a more enjoyable experience. 

Make sure that boundaries are discussed beforehand between you and your partner, including picking out a safe word.  Be sure not to push your partner’s boundaries, as role-playing is only fun if all parties involved feel comfortable with what is going on around them and involving them. 

Change it up!  Be sure to alternate fantasies with your partner. It’s not fair to expect them to participate in your fantasy every time and they don’t get to reenact yours.  Besides, playing out their fantasy with an open mind could introduce you to other things that turn you on.  Willingness to act out in their fantasy will make them more comfortable in yours, as well, and everyone will have more fun all around.

Don’t be judgmental!   Everyone has different tastes, and your partner may want to try something new.  Don’t pass judgment, you should both feel free and encourage each other to explore your sexuality.  Besides, you wouldn’t want your partner passing judgment on something you enjoy or would like to try, would you?

These area a few basic tips to get you started. After you become more comfortable and familiar with your partner, these pointers will become second nature in your role-playing endeavors.  Just remember to be open with your partner and most importantly, have fun!  Role-playing is a great way to enrich a relationship, enjoy it as such!