A Primer on Swinging: Is it Right for You?
View Full Article: http://mandyseroticlife.blogspot.com/2008/05/swinger-dances.html
Sometimes I'm asked about
getting into the swinger lifestyle,
questions about how to do it, how to get started, etc. In fact I have written
about it before on occasion, and for that matter, have another blog, Swinger Style about the lifestyle. But to tell
the truth, I haven't updated that site in a little while because I have been
busy with this one and of course, swinging...ha!
Now don't get me wrong, folks don't walk up to me on the street and ask,
"How do I become a swinger?" I am talking about people who email me,
or sometimes acquaintances or friends who know about the lifestyle Hubby and I
have enjoyed for several years. I usually reply one of two ways, either suggest
they get a membership on something like AltAdultFinder, or
join a swinger's club in their area and attend a dance. You can find local
swinger clubs through sites like AAF or through the internet, just search for
local swinger lifestyle clubs/organizations.
Many swingers clubs have monthly dances, usually held in a local hotel that
isn't against a little hedonism taking place in their establishment. The dances
are more or less meet and greet events, attended by experienced swingers and newbies alike. They are relatively tame. Don't expect to
see people going at it on the table, although the clothes and the activities
and, to some extent, the dancing is a little more risqué than you will
see at the local legion on Saturday night.
New comers are always made to feel as relaxed and welcome as possible. Usually
the dance organizer or club owner will meet with you first, have a quick chat,
normally just to get you to fill out an application, find out your name, contact
info for their email list, etc. Most clubs don't insist on it, but some do, so
be prepared.
Otherwise, the dances are pretty much the same as any other dance, a disc
jockey, a cash bar, tables and a dance floor. Don't be surprised if someone
offers you and your spouse a seat at their table., Swingers
are very friendly and welcoming of new folks. They understand you are a little
uncomfortable and will do their best to get you to relax. You're not obligated
to do anything with them, and no does mean no in the swinger lifestyle.
Once you get over the initial shock of seeing all shapes and sizes of middle
aged women in various sexy clothes, girls dancing with girls, and so on, don't
be shy, get up and dance, talk to people and no doubt your wife will be asked
to dance. Especially if she is dressed a little sexy.
My suggestion for a first time swinger is
a basic black mini dress 
or other
sexy party dress. Not too revealing, but not buttoned to the neck either. Just
be comfortable, but feel sexy. High heels of course....unless it is very sexy,
leave your bra at home...
One other
point about what to wear. Swinger dances often have theme nights, things like "Daisy
Duke Night" or "Wear
What You Dare". Don't worry about those at
first, just make sure you are comfortable. Not everyone dresses for the themes.
You will meet lots of new
friends, many of whom will offer their number or perhaps even go so far as to
invite you back to their room after the dance. Here is the decision point. If
it's your first time, and you don't know how far you want to go, turn down the
invitation to their room. Trust me. There will be lots of opportunities as you
get into the lifestyle.
What's
important is that you and your spouse talk about the adventure, say what you
liked, didn't like and decide if the dances and the lifestyle are for you.
Don't be too quick to judge. Some dances are better than others and first
impressions can be misleading. I really recommend you talk to your spouse about
it before you move to the next level of going back to someone's room or meeting
someone later. Be friendly, but be non-committal. You don't want to get into
something that your spouse doesn't want. Notice I am not being gender specific,
just 'spouse' because sometimes it is the man and sometimes the woman who have
second thoughts.
You'll be sure to have a great time no matter what, and knowing that you are
not going to have sex with anyone at the dance the first few times takes the
pressure off immensely. Don't forget, the first few times can be quite
stressful, but it will get better as you get to know some other folks. These
dances can also be great opportunities to get a little wild, dress
in ways you don't normally and tease your spouse. Especially for the husband,
seeing a wife's wilder side can be like a life discovery for a husband! They
usually love it!
Regardless of the outcome, I assure you, even if you don't 'hook up' with
anyone at the dances, you and your partner will have fantastic sex later on at
home. The two of you will be so damn excited after a night at a swinger's dance
that you will be jumping each other like rabbits as soon as you're alone.
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One thing I forgot to mention, be prepared to meet
someone you know at a swinger's dance, you will be surprised to discover who attends
these events. It might even be your neighbor, that hot blonde and her husband
down the street...or your brother and his wife....just be
prepared. And remember, they are there too, so don’t feel ashamed or out
of place!
